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Name: SteVE
Birthday: 1/16/1987
Gender: Male


Interests: Basketball definitely. dancing. i suck at that too. Reading. Business. Stats. Economics. And I'm starting to like Marketing.
Expertise: basketball. sorta. piano? not really.
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Media, Business


Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM: hehjog


Member Since: 7/5/2003

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Full Transcript

I've realized something this past semester.

For this past year, I've been trying too hard to become what other people want me to be. Granted, its not always a bad thing. The people who love you genuinely care for you and want you to become a better person. Even they, sometimes though, forget that I am not they, and they are not me (yes, I totally butchered grammar there). I can't be them.

The result is there are moments when I've forgotten who I am. Not that I forgot that I'm a child of God, but that I've lost my identity of what makes me unique. Instead, I've tried to become more cool, more popular, more well-liked, more judgemental, less tolerating, and superior to others to please other people or to elevate myself.

I am me. There's no one else who can be me. I am genuinely nice. That's who I am. Sometimes I am too nice. But that's me again. i don't know why I'm that way. And sometimes people don't like it for whatever reason.

It used to bother me, especially when dealing with girls. I'm a nice guy. And that sucked in a lot of situations, but I've come to grips with that. Especially considering the alternative when I was a jerk, a punk, an idiot, and a drama fest. That doesn't work for me, and that's not who I am. I'm done playing and testing another side of me despite the fact that everyone is multi-faceted in some way.

But now that I have come to grips with that, I'm ok with it. When people are tired of hypocrites, and corrupted "nice" people I'll still be here and waiting. Because I'm nice like that. =)

Besides, in emulating the Savior, nothing else quite matters as much.

Having said that, I can't go overbooard and force someone to love me for who I am. I can ask that they accept me for who I am, but nothing further than that. And that's ok.

However, I'm still trying to get better at being a good person. I just don't want to be turning away people simply because they aren't cool enough or because they don't fit my clique.

And that's my new philosophy. :)


Friday, March 20, 2009

Sunglasses.

 I like sunglasses for one major reason. I don't think I look good in them. I don't think they improve my image. And I don't hide behind them....well, sort of. The reason I like sunglasses is that its easier to make eye contact with people through them when you think they can't tell you're looking at them.

And vice versa. Sometimes you can't tell if they're looking at you, but you can make eye contact with them without being blatantly obvious. You don't feel as shy, and others don't feel as shy looking at you.

I was reminded of this today. =)


Sunday, March 01, 2009

LOYALTY



Loyalty.


 I trust people. I am a very trusting person. Maybe I'm too trusting. But I trust people until they prove me wrong. Then I may never trust you again.

 I hope people trust me. Even if someone is a complete stranger, I still have hope they can trust me because I try to be a trustworthy person. Its one of the things that I work on.

HOWEVER. To me, Loyalty is different than trust. My friends think I'm really jittery and hyper, and that I'm easily distracted and maybe even a player with girls. But the reality is, I know who I am. The people I like, really like, not just like, but actually LOVE I am extremely loyal to and I EXPECT that in return because I hold myself to high standards.

And maybe that's a mistake, but I really value LOYALTY. With a girl, same way. I am extremely loyal to her. She can expect to trust me, and that I will not violate that trust. I will NOT cheat. That's if I am with a girl.

So to think someone is loyal to you, and then to have that loyalty and trust violated....is a defining blow. In that respect, being so close to me, yet so different from who I thought, and to find out what kind of person they really are...being someone who I shared a lot of things with, and then only to find out what they really think of you, having gained my own loyalty to, and then to rock it....
makes the consequences as bad as how strong the friendship was. And if the friendship was really strong...then what happens next will equal in magnitude.


Let's just say, I'm hurt. But I am a forgiving person. I will forgive, and I will forget. But I will also learn, and some things can't be changed and its not to say I won't take measures to protect myself and get rid of you from my life.




People who are willing to talk bad about others or gossip about others to you, will talk bad and gossip about you. I know that. I should have seen the signs. I recognized it, but I loved too much. It blinded me a little bit. I just thought "no, they wouldn't do this to me".


Tuesday, February 03, 2009

How Modern Law Makes us Powerless: the real barrier to Barack Obama's responsibility era

 so what do you think of this?


Wall Street Journal Article #1

Wall Street Journal  JANUARY 25, 2009, 11:35 P.M. ET

How Modern Law Makes Us Powerless

The real barrier to Barack Obama's 'responsibility' era.

By PHILIP K. HOWARD

Calling for a "new era of responsibility" in his inaugural address, President Barack Obama reminded us that there are no limits to "what free men and women can achieve." Indeed. America achieved greatness as the can-do society. This is, after all, the country of Thomas Paine and barn raisings, of Grange halls and Google. Other countries shared, at least in part, our political freedoms, but America had something different -- a belief in the power of each individual. President Obama's clarion call of self-determination -- "Yes We Can" -- hearkens back to the core of our culture.

But there's a threshold problem for our new president. Americans don't feel free to reach inside themselves and make a difference. The growth of litigation and regulation has injected a paralyzing uncertainty into everyday choices. All around us are warnings and legal risks. The modern credo is not "Yes We Can" but "No You Can't." Our sense of powerlessness is pervasive. Those who deal with the public are the most discouraged. Most doctors say they wouldn't advise their children to go into medicine. Government service is seen as a bureaucratic morass, not a noble calling. Make a difference? You can't even show basic human kindness for fear of legal action. Teachers across America are instructed never to put an arm around a crying child.

The idea of freedom as personal power got pushed aside in recent decades by a new idea of freedom -- where the focus is on the rights of whoever might disagree. Daily life in America has been transformed. Ordinary choices -- by teachers, doctors, officials, managers, even volunteers -- are paralyzed by legal self-consciousness. Did you check the rules? Who will be responsible if there's an accident? A pediatrician in North Carolina noted that "I don't deal with patients the same way any more. You wouldn't want to say something off the cuff that might be used against you."

Here we stand, facing the worst economy since the Great Depression, and Americans no longer feel free to do anything about it. We have lost the idea, at every level of social life, that people can grab hold of a problem and fix it. Defensiveness has swept across the country like a cold wave. We have become a culture of rule followers, trained to frame every solution in terms of existing law or possible legal risk. The person of responsibility is replaced by the person of caution. When in doubt, don't.

All this law, we're told, is just the price of making sure society is in working order. But society is not working. Disorder disrupts learning all day long in many public schools -- the result in part, studies by NYU Professor Richard Arum found, of the rise of student rights. Health care is like a nervous breakdown in slow motion. Costs are out of control, yet the incentive for doctors is to order whatever tests the insurance will pay for. Taking risks is no longer the badge of courage, but reason enough to get sued. There's an epidemic of child obesity, but kids aren't allowed to take the normal risks of childhood. Broward County, Fla., has even banned running at recess.

The flaw, and the cure, lie in our conception of freedom. We think of freedom as political freedom. We're certainly free to live and work where we want, and to pull the lever in the ballot box. But freedom should also include the power of personal conviction and the authority to use your common sense. Analyzing the American character, Alexis de Tocqueville, considered "freedom less necessary in great things than in little ones. . . . Subjection in minor affairs does not drive men to resistance, but it crosses them at every turn, till they are led to sacrifice their own will. Thus their spirit is gradually broken and their character enervated."

This is not an ideological point. Freedom in daily choices is essential for practical reasons -- necessary for government officials and judges as well as for teachers, doctors and entrepreneurs. The new legal order doesn't honor the individuality of human accomplishment. People accomplish things by focusing on the goal, and letting their instincts, mainly subconscious, try to get them there. "Amazingly few people," management guru Peter Drucker observed, "know how they get things done." Most things happen, the philosopher Michael Polanyi wrote, through "the usual process of trial and error by which we feel our way to success." Thomas Edison put it this way: "Nothing that's any good works by itself. You got to make the damn thing work."

Modern law pulls the rug out from under all those human powers and substitutes instead a debilitating self-consciousness. Teachers lose their authority, Prof. Arum found, because the overhang of law causes "hesitation, doubt and weakening of conviction." Skyrocketing health-care costs are impossible to contain as long as doctors go through the day thinking about how they will defend themselves if a sick person sues.

The overlay of law on daily choices destroys the human instinct needed to get things done. Bureaucracy can't teach. Rules don't make things happen. Accomplishment is personal. Anyone who has felt the pride of a job well done knows this.

How do we restore Americans' freedom in daily choices? Freedom is notoriously malleable towards self-interest. "We all declare for liberty," Abraham Lincoln observed, "but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing."

Freedom, however, is not just a shoving match. Freedom has a formal structure. It has two components:

1) Law sets boundaries that proscribe what we must do or can't do -- you must not steal, you must pay taxes.

2) Those same legal boundaries protect an open field of free choice in all other matters.

The forgotten idea is the second component -- that law must affirmatively define an area free from legal interference. Law must provide "frontiers, not artificially drawn," as philosopher Isaiah Berlin put it, "within which men should be inviolable."

This idea has been lost to our age. When advancing the cause of freedom, law today is all proscription and no protection. There are no boundaries, just a moving mudbank comprised of accumulating bureaucracy and whatever claims people unilaterally choose to assert. People wade through law all day long. Any disagreement in the workplace, any accident, any incidental touching of a child, any sick person who gets sicker, any bad grade in school -- you name it. Law has poured into daily life.

The solution is not just to start paring back all the law -- that would take 10 lifetimes, like trying to prune the jungle. We need to abandon the idea that freedom is a legal maze, where each daily choice is like picking the right answer on a multiple-choice test. We need to set a new goal for law -- to define an open area of free choice. This requires judges and legislatures to affirmatively assert social norms of what's reasonable and what's not. "The first requirement of a sound body of law," Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. wrote, "is that it should correspond with the actual feelings and demands of the community."

The profile of authority structures needed to defend daily freedoms is not hard to imagine. Judges would aspire to keep lawsuits reasonable, understanding that what people sue for ends up defining the boundaries of free interaction. Schools would be run by the instincts and values of the humans in charge -- not by bureaucratic micromanagement -- and be held accountable for how they do. Government officials would have flexibility to meet public goals, also with accountability. Public choices would aspire to balance for the common good, not, generally, to appease someone's rights.

Reviving the can-do spirit that made America great requires a legal overhaul of historic dimension. We must scrape away decades of accumulated legal sediment and replace it with coherent legal goals and authority mechanisms, designed to affirmatively protect individual freedom in daily choices. "A little rebellion now and then is a good thing," Thomas Jefferson wrote to James Madison, "and as necessary in the political world as storms are in the physical . . . ." The goal is not to change our public goals. The goal is make it possible for free citizens to achieve them.


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Optimistically Forward

This poem was written today after thinking about how many of my friendships have faded over the past few years

Optimistically Forward




Remember the old days? The old ways? When innocence and childhood
seemed like all play, and hope stretched out in all ways?
When summer stretched forever, things were light and carefree,
The sun seemed to always shine through gray clouds eventually,
When doom and gloom were carried away by the sound of laughter,
And troubles and tears always seemed to be so trivial after.
Remember sitting on the tree, wondering where we’d be in ten years?
Never guessing the situations we’d find ourselves in here.
When hanging together simply meant playing tag and games,
And we’d have fun together no matter what we were playing.
But alas, time travels, streams, rushes, and flows on,
And what we have are just these memories to go on.

Remember when we’d go to the dances and have a crazy time,
Then do something stupid afterwards thinking we were out of line?
At least that’s what we thought, none of this day to day surviving,
When friends weren’t killed in gang violence or killed through drunk driving.
Remember those school projects we did, the talks that we had?
Or when the worst distraught we’d have was with our dads?
Remember Disneyland, or hanging out everyday by the beach?
When dreams and impossible goals all seemed within reach?
The wind was steady, sand castles were seen aplenty,
And experimenting and having fun just came so readily.
Remember screaming our heads off at our high school football games?
Remember late night chats on-line, or dancing crazily in the rain?

Every time I remember you, I think of then.
Not that things are much worse now,
But how come you’re not here to share new memories again?
We can’t live those memories now,
We look to the future optimistically,
Believing and learning from the past
that the sun will shine through eventually.
There’s nowhere to go now but forward, the good times aren’t yet over.
Faith in the future means looking ahead and not letting expectations be lowered.




Can’t look back, there’s nothing there for us now,
Except remembrances that can potentially tie us down.
The past is to be learned from, not to be lived in,
So learn from it, and hope for more blessings like the ones we’ve been given.




Where’d you go?
I miss you so,
seems like it’s been forever, since you’ve been gone.
Where’d you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it’s been forever, since you’ve been gone,
Please come back home…

Please come back home…

Please come back home…

Please come back home…

Please come back home…



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